What Can Men Do?

• Believe the survivor(s), both that the assault happened and how it continues to affect them.
• Be patient.
• Understand that the survivor's race, gender, and sexual orientation will impact his or her needs, response, and treatment by others.
• Identify the resources in your community for friends and partners of survivors.

• Recognize your right to have access to resources and services that help survivors cope and heal from their assaults.
• Recognize that you are not alone and that it is not your fault. Many men are assaulted at various times in their lives for the same reason women are: because someone else chose to express or exploit his or her power and control through violence.

• Acknowledge the truth that many men make the choice to sexually assault people.
• Think about how all men and relationships between men and women (in particular) are affected by the choice that some men make to sexually assault.
• Consider the climate of fear and anxiety created for all women and many men.

• Try to understand sexual assault broadly- similar to other kinds of aggressive or controlling behavior.
• Think about how early experiences (at home, school, through the media, etc.) may have taught you that aggression is a part of sex.
• Examine the context for consent in your relationships. Does your partner feel safe to say "no?" To say "yes?"
• Challenge yourself to think about how you may be similar to men who have committed sexual assaults- and commit to personal accountability and change.

• Recognize that it is likely that every man has one or more friends or family members who has committed or will commit a sexual assault.
• Remember that safety and justice for the victim is the central goal and that sexual assault is a community issue.
• Unless the victim has told you in confidence or believes that he or she will be punished if you do, talk with him. Tell him what you see and how it affects you; assist him in understanding how his behavior is hurting others. Tell him that you expect him to stop and to change; identify how you can support him in this.
• Especially is he is not interested in stopping his sexual assaults, tell others about it-unless the victim has told you in confidence or it would put him or her at risk.
• Talk it over and gain support from family and friends, and try your best.

• Examine the ways in which our culture approaches sex.
• Become aware of the prevalence and impact of childhood sexual assault.
• Learn about the production of pornography and prostitution.
• Find ways to talk clearly and honestly about sexual behavior with other men.
• Consider how a victim's and/or perpetrator's race, class, and sexual orientation impact their experience and the community's response to a sexual assault.
• Investigate how your community institutions have responded (or failed to respond) to sexual assault.